He has hopes, like us. They’re just more deluded.
One of the hardest things I’ve had to do is realize that I am forgiven. All the stupid stuff I’ve done, all the mistakes I’ve made. It took me so long to realize it because I had heard it all my life. Sounds odd, I know. Sometimes the more you hear something, the less meaningful it is. You probably hear someone say “I love you” everyday. Those little “I love you”s are meaningful, but after saying it so much the meaning behind it blurs a bit. I had this problem with forgiveness. Every time I’d mess up on something I’d just figure “Ah well, I’m forgiven” and move on. The truth is, I WAS forgiven, I just had forgotten the meaning about what it really is. One day out of nowhere, pretty much everything I’ve ever messed up came to mind. You know that feeling after you mess up on something, and you feel bad? I felt like that, but with every little tiny thing I’d ever done wrong. Everything. Through this time of not understanding why I was feeling like this, I started reading the bible (I’ve always read it, but in this hard time it seemed exceptionally good). I started at the beginning and just read and read. Something I realized though, is that every single person God used, always had problems. Moses was a murderer, David slept with a married woman and then killed her husband, Jonah was hateful and bitter, Noah fell to intoxication, ect. But through all the stuff the did wrong, God still used them and forgave them. Moses led the people of Israel, David wrote almost the whole book of Psalms, Jonah saved a lost and torturous village of people and Noah obeyed God and pretty much saved the human race. As I realized that, I didn’t feel as bad. Not because I thought they were worst than me or anything like that, but just because God still used them. God never turned his back on them, no matter how many times they failed. The question came up though, “These guys did great things for God, of course he’ll forgive them. I haven’t done anything like that.”. But after thinking that, I remembered another verse. It said “For there is no partiality with God.” (Romans 2:11). I saw then that I didn’t have to do great things like these people did to be forgiven. If there is no partiality, if God forgave them, then he would forgive me too. Anything he said to anybody in the bible, he is saying to me. Even now, it’s easy to forget what forgiveness means. I do my best to remember, but sometimes I do tend to forget the greatness of what it really is. I honestly don’t know why I wrote this, I just felt led to do so, and I hope it can help someone who is going through the same thing I did.
